If you follow this blog, you know that I ended my best training cycle this winter with a bad race at the Pittsburgh Half Marathon. Following the race, I started to doubt myself and feel bad about myself. This past week, I looked at the big picture and remembered that we’re all on different journeys. I realized that I’m doing just fine on my journey, and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.
I read a lot of success stories on blogs or magazines about two main types of runners. The first are those who started running in high school or earlier and either continued running or renewed their running and are reaching new levels of success. The second are those who have never run before but when they started, achieved either instant or rapid success–winning age-group awards in their first race or running their first race faster than I will probably ever be able to run that distance. Just a few days ago an article on Runner’s World profiled a man who started running six months ago and finished his first race–a half marathon–in 2:10.
I am not one of those people. Not only was I never able to run as a kid, but I had no athletic ability at all. I was never picked to be on anyone’s team, got kicked off the volleyball team at a time when no kid got kicked off any team because I was so bad, and always did the worst at any gym activity or event. I started running when I was 37 and remember being so proud of myself that I could run three miles straight and finish a 5K. Almost four years later, why did I feel so opposite of proud when I finished my fifth half marathon earlier this month?
The answer is, of course, that I want to get better. Most of us do. We either want to go faster, longer, put more into training, put more into race day, be more consistent, do more cross training, break our PRs, pass people on hills…be the best we can be.
All those are good things. But something in a blog post last week really struck me. I was reading elite runner Tina Muir’s reflections of her fantastic London Marathon race. She said her biggest success was her attitude. “This made me think of something my friend Carla said in her new book, What You Can When You Can….’When we’re determined we stick to our vision; when we’re obsessed,
our vision has narrowed so much our goal is all we see—and the rest of
life passes us by.’ This was my mindset in previous marathons, I was obsessed with that time goal, and life did pass me by. It was only when I let that go, that I could actually run to my potential.”
Here is an elite runner–a woman whose profession is to run well to secure continued sponsorships–and she proved how letting go of her time goal obsession enabled her to not only enjoy her race but to run a fantastic time.
That was the second blog post I’d read last week that mentioned the What You Can, When You Can (#wycwyc) movement. The first was from Jessica at A Little More Each Day and was the first I’d heard of #wycwyc. The idea of making little changes instead of trying to achieve instant perfection resonated with me, so I checked out the #wycwyc blog. I was blown away by the post I saw: Doing the work without an attachment to the outcome. Showing the #wycwyc book with yoga books made me think about the purpose of yoga. It is not to do a pose perfectly but instead is about the benefits to your mind and body while going through the process of doing that pose. In other words, yoga is all about the journey. Extending that to life in general (I know, deep thoughts!), what’s the purpose of life? It’s not just to reach the end–and die!–but is all about the journey and what we learn and experience as we move through life.
So there was the response to my self-doubting struggle of becoming a better runner, wondering whether I should continue to strive for goals when I feel so bad when I don’t meet them. YES is the answer. I run because I love being outside and exploring the world in all seasons, because I like to challenge my body and my mind, because of how it makes me feel, and many other reasons. I don’t run just to achieve a time goal. Like yoga and life in general, running is all about the journey for me.
And I’m proud of my journey. I’m not the fastest runner, but I’m right up there with most dedicated. I might not meet the goals I set for races, but I’ve come so far and improved so much, and I learn something from every race. I’ll continue to strive for new goals to continue improving as a runner, but I need to remember and celebrate my own successes and stay positive about my own journey.
I'm so glad I read your blog. Excellent post. You are the MOST dedicated runner I know, hands down. We do get too narrow and focused on one thing. I'm guilty. But there are times in some races when I cry just because it feels so good and I LOVE it so much. Those times are my greatest successes. They don't come when I'm running a PR but when I feel proud and strong. There is a difference!
You're so right! There is a difference, and I need to better celebrate when I'm feeling proud and strong. Sometimes that's a PR, but I consider my most successful race one in which I finished strong and met my pacing strategy and didn't get a PR.
Great post Jenn. You are a dedicated runner and you've improved so much this year. My half this past weekend did not go as plan and I definitely thought of your post from the PGH half and how you pushed through to finish.
Thanks! Sorry to hear that your half didn't go as planned, but YOU are a dedicated runner, and I love that you are always tackling new races!
Great post! You really are dedicated and your training season was amazing. The race day experience doesn't take away from that. I'll have to look into that book and site. The idea of being so focused on a goal that life passes you by really resonates.
I want to get the book too. I am guilty of being too obsessed with goals, so I need to work on that.
Really awesome post Jenn. I love reading running blogs because it's the only place where I've found others who aren't super fast but who are super dedicated. I have a couple of friends who run here or there; they aren't super fast, but they also don't train consistently and they don't care about improving so even though we run similar paces they are hard to relate to.
The races where I have performed the best have been the ones where I told myself early on, "I don't think a PR is going to happen today" which took all the pressure off…. and then a PR happened anyway! Go figure 🙂
Isn't it awesome that the blogging community brings so many of us together? I feel like I can relate to and learn from every blogger I follow. I remember reading your race recaps where you achieved a PR when you had no expectations. I really think that is the key. I just need to learn how to let go of expectations better!
Word. Love this.
One of the best things about running and racing is that while a race often gives us a goal to work towards, what's equally (or as I find in my case, even more) rewarding is the path towards that goal. The goal is an initial event that motivates us to do the work, which we often don't expect to be its own reward, but often is.
Your post is so timely, especially as I've been saddled with some minor injuries for the first time in 3.5 months of uninterrupted training for a 50 mile run in June– I'm 5 weeks out from race day, debating whether or not to run next month, but also grateful for the 3.5 months of solid work that I've put in that won't go to waste when I take the long view, ie. a lifetime of enjoying running 🙂
So thanks!
Yes, exactly! The work is my reward too…and I remembered that right up until race day then that race overshadowed the four months of training, and I shouldn't have let it. Thanks for sharing your perspective. A lifetime of enjoying running is definitely more important than a single race! That said, I'm crossing my fingers that you can heal quickly so you can have both. 🙂
Awwww Jennifer, this is wonderful. This truly made me smile. Thank you for mentioning me, but you really should be proud of you! You have come a long way, and as you continue to let go of those time restraints you will achieve even more. Cant wait to see it happen for you!
Thanks so much, Tina! I have been wanting to pop in and tell you what an inspiration you are to me, but you beat me to the punch. Thank you!!!
I can totally relate to this. We both just need to remember to be proud of what we have accomplished because we have come along way! -M
Yes, exactly! 🙂
Preach sister! I am not naturally a runner. Its hard for me. I'll never be fast. But I am JUST as dedicated & try JUST as hard – if not harder… It's all a different road for everyone.
Yes, that's exactly right! We're all on different journeys–some of us are naturally fast and some of us are not, but we should all be proud of what we've accomplished!
Boom. You nailed this!
It's always so hard when you nail a training cycle and on that ONE day, can't seem to get your body to cooperate, but you are exactly right to focus on how far you have come. Your dedication and passion has been so inspiring to me!!
I've been feeling a little sorry for myself over the marathon, and this post was just what I needed to read. On my run this morning, I started to think back and remembered that just FINISHING a 5K was a major milestone for me; it was years before I had the confidence to register for a half marathon! My best finish times have always come when I forget about the clock and focus on other things or let myself just have fun. Time is just a number. (You can almost relate it to Non-Scale Victories when it comes to weight loss!)
Keep focusing on and celebrating the other aspects – look at far YOU have come!! <3 <3
Thank you for this! I keep thinking of the Zoozilla 5K we did. I came into it without even thinking I might PR and had no expectations, and just like that I had one. I need to follow the advice you gave me last year to "let it go" when I'm obsessing about time and just let my body do its thing!
Such a great post, one of my favorites. I think the PR quest is dangerous — if you want to run for a lifetime, you can't be motivated primarily by a PR because that will inevitably become unattainable at some point. I've met runners who started in HS and struggle with not being able to PR again. One friend refuses to wear her watch for 800s b/c it depresses her to see what I consider to be her smoking fast time, b/c that was her event in HS and college and she'll never beat those times (of course she won't, she trains for distance, not for the 800). I think the big picture is so important in running. The idea of the race being the reward for the entire training season. Sometimes that reward flops, sure, but part of the allure of racing is knowing how sweet that reward is when all the stuff outside your control, plus all your hard work in training, comes together with a well-executed run. But it's really all those training miles that are the prize. The health, the endurance, the quiet, the nature, the connection to the world around you, the strength, the people, the calm, the high, the pain, the pride, etc.
Wow, you put it so well! You're so right about the PR quest being dangerous and can't be the only motivation. The big picture *is* so important, and I agree with everything you said. I just think sometimes I get so caught up in self-doubt that it muddies the big picture for me. I need to re-read this comment when I want to remember my reward is all these things, not just to meet a goal. Thank you!
Great post with so many truths that we can all relate to. Each person's journey is their own and each person's attitude can impact the outcome. I really like the concept of doing what you can when you can. I feel fortunate that I can run, because I know several friends who can't run. One of those friends talked about the big picture – she could try to run, but in the end, would be looking at a knee replacement in her 50's. She stated the big picture was more important than her running. Her attitude is great about it all.
Thanks for sharing that story. That reminds me that I also need to be grateful that I've been running injury-free,and I should be grateful that I can continue to run.
wow. nailed it. great post. I have a similar one in the queue and was definitely feeling defeated after Pittsburgh, but you're right – it's the journey and we all have our own.
Wow, Pittsburgh was so tough for so many of us! I guess I should take some comfort in knowing that it wasn't just me who took it so hard. I think I probably should have lowered my expectations, but I had no idea the sun would make 65 degrees feel so hot.
Hmmm. Did my comment work? Go to be moderated?!:-)
Oh no! Comments aren't moderated, so it should have instantly published. Are you on WordPress? I know some people using WP have had problems with comments on Blogger. I'm sorry. 🙁 I saw your comment on Twitter though, so thanks!
I read this yesterday (clicked through the links and read those too) and was so moved by it and wanted to take a bit to reflect on it. I cannot thank you enough for posting this. This is so truthful – every bit of it. I love how you used yoga as an example of just loving the process and enjoy the journey. That's what really got me when I did the 30 day challenge at the beginning of the year that kept me doing yoga several months later now – I loved the fact that it wasn't about being the best, it wasn't about being someone elses idea of perfect every day all the time, it was just me and what I could do on that day and that moment and that was my shining moment, my time, my perfect. You're so right – why can't it be the same vibe for running? It absolutely should! I know for me sometimes I get so wrapped up in running and the end goals that I let everything else fall to the side. I feel like if I'm not running marathons or ultras, if I'm not getting faster, if I'm not placing, if I don't always PR, if I can't get a BQ than I'm not progressing as a runner and I'm not in that sense a good runner at all. Then comes the downward spiral of "why do I waste the time", etc… It's not a good thing, it's definitely not a healthy way to go through life in any aspect whether it's running or another activity… So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this and sharing your thoughts because it really spoke to me and was something that I'm sure many of us really needed to read right now.
Aw, thanks so much Nichole. It seems we are always on the same page. 🙂 I actually hadn't thought about that aspect of yoga–that it's about what your body can do on that day and respecting that. I do that in yoga, so why do I struggle with that in running? I'm making a promise to myself from here on out to respect my body when I run just like I do in yoga. Thanks for that analogy.
Anyone who has read your blog or has ran with you will know how dedicated you are, it's inspiring. The journey to where we are is the greatest thing about running, and as we learn more and mature the journey continues. It doesn't matter how fast a person is going, as long as they are getting enjoyment out of it.
Thanks so much, Shaun. It's true–the journey really is the greatest thing. I need to respect that more and trust that there will be many good things ahead in my journey!
It is so easy to lose track of the value of the journey. I'm guilty of it myself after a bad race or a bad weigh in or just a bad day. I forget how much I enjoy the process, how much pride I get from how far I've come. Thanks for the reminder! So glad for you that you're able to keep such great perspective!